Recently.

My girlfriend of 2.5 years broke up with me.
I've already been replaced by a guy 2 years older than me.
I've been rejected, replaced, and ignored.
We used to say things like "I'm never too busy for you"
But now she breaks that promise all the time.
Anytime I want to talk it's "Sorry I'm busy right now"

We said we'd be together forever.
I'm sure you've all heard that one before.
I learned something
There's no such thing as forever.
It's all made up.
Just to make people feel better about their uncertain future.
The future isn't always certain, but one thing is for sure.
There's no such thing as forever.

We used to fight fairly often.
We still fight, but now there's nobody to say "I'm sorry, I love you sweetheart" when all the fighting is over.
I don't get what the difference is.
We still fight.
She didn't fix anything by leaving me.

I doubt she'll ever read this.
She's never really cared enough about what I write on here.
She should start caring because a lot of the stuff I write is with her in mind.
I doubt many people will read this.
But I think that's ok.
I'm not writing this for anyone but me.
I need a way to get my thoughts out.
I guess this does it.

She was the best thing that ever happened to me, hands down.
Just looking into her eyes was enough to make me happy.
I've only seen her twice since we broke up.
The first was to try and talk things out.
The second was so she could get her things that she left at my house.

That other guy she's with is kind of annoying.
I met him once.
I pretended to like him but I really didn't.
I could tell he liked her.
I somehow knew something like this would happen.
Where she would leave me and turn to another guy for comfort.
Then one thing leads to another...

I've been listening to a lot more music recently.
I can't listen to half of the songs I have because they make me think of her.
I would love to think of her all the time if it didn't make me so sad.
Well, I do think about her all the time.

My moods change a lot now.
One second I'm having an okay time.
Then I start missing her.
And I get sad.
Then I text her and try to remind her of back then.
And she'll mention that guy.
And I'll get angry.
And then it just cycles back to getting sad.

I don't know what I want anymore.
I've told her I want to leave and never come back.
She said that wasn't a good idea.
Now I'm not so sure about it.
I don't know what I want.

I don't really go anywhere anymore.
I sleep til one or two in the afternoon and just sit around on my computer.
I feel so pathetic.
I used to go out nearly every day.
Now I don't even shower every day.

I guess this is the end.
I don't really have anything more to say.
I have a lot to say to her, but I guess it'll have to wait until she's not busy.